- This Month +

1 McCain renews call for bipartisan bailout
2 Palin beats expectations
6 Microsoft releases Palin patch
7 Palin flunked post-debate urine test
7 McCain won, say malevolent energy cloud-beings
13 McCain suspends campaign
13 McCain pushes "Placebonomics"
15 McCain declares himself "the Rockford" in the race
17 McCain pledges to cut air quote pollution
20 Palin disavows Muthee
22 "Obama will raise our taxes"
24 I-985 will save lives, says actor
27 Palin enhances qualifications
29 McCain plans transition
31 Palin daughters endorse Obama

   "Where's the
   Archive?"

The McCain-Palin campaign lost a pair of endorsements today, with the announcement by key Palin children Bristol and Piper that they are backing Democratic frontrunner Barack Obama for President.

"His kids look so happy and well adjusted, I believe Obama can make the whole country that way," Piper Palin, 7, said wistfully.

The Palin sisters are only the latest in a series of Republicans who have endorsed Obama over GOP nominee John Sidney McCain III, including former Secretary of State Colin Powell, former Governor William Weld of Massachusetts, former Governor Arne Carlson of Minnesota, and Hoover the Republican logo elephant.

Piper Palin said the last straw was the disclosure that her mother, GOP vice presidential running mate Governor Sarah Palin, improperly had the state of Alaska pay for the girls' travel expenses when Palin children made trips with their mother.

Gov. Palin's claim forms said Bristol, 18, Willow, 13, and Piper had accompanied their mother on official state business. Bristol and Piper deny this.

"I'm not going to be dragged down by Travelgate, having that on my permanent record that follows me the rest of my life," said a precociously emphatic Piper.

"Thanks, but no thanks," Piper added. Piper went on to say that she is fed up with being the primary caregiver for Trig Palin, 10 months. The job was thrust on her without any training or contract, she claimed.

"I have been working for free, and Mommy has stalled for weeks on finalizing my contract," said Piper.

"I don't know if I have disability coverage. My back is a mess from schlepping Trig all over the country," she said.

Bristol Palin said she felt outrage upon learning the Republican National Committee had spent $150,000 on a wardrobe for Gov. Palin. "Right now my mom is redistributing the closet space in our house in Wasilla, taking it all for herself."

"Where am I supposed to keep all my maternity clothes?" Bristol wondered.

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Who will be nonredistribution czar?

Buoyed by new polls showing him only 10-14 points behind Democratic rival Barack Obama, Republican presidential nominee John Sidney McCain III today instructed his campaign advisers to begin planning the details of his transition for when he takes office in January 2009.

McCain transition director Edward J. Smith would not name who is on their short list, but did offer clues.

"It's mostly pretty simple. What will a McCain Administration look like? Well, he supported President Bush's policies 90 percent of the time, so if you thought he would retain 90 percent of Bush's cabinet and staff, I'd say you were very warm," said Smith.

Smith said a lot of focus is on selecting a cabinet level appointee to be in charge of preventing wealth redistribution. This "Nonredistribution Czar" would be in charge of policies to maintain the current concentration of wealth among large businesses, and individuals earning more than $250,000 a year.

"I wouldn't disabuse anyone if they thought Joe Wurzelbacher is on the short list, he's an obvious candidate," Smith said, adding that the czar's salary would be $40,000 per year.

Smith went on to say the big question of the McCain transition is who in the Bush inner circle will not be invited back. "Not even the job of First Lady has been decided," he said.

"John McCain is a maverick, so he doesn't consider that position to be immune from a little shake-up," Smith said.

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Shoots Harry Whittington in hunting accident

Governor Sarah Palin, eager to add additional weight to her claim to be qualified to hold America's second highest office, accidentally wounded attorney Harry Whittington on purpose last Saturday. The McCain-Palin campaign said the mishap occurred as the two participated in a moose hunt near Fairbanks.

It was the second time Whittington has been shot by a vice president or candidate for the office.

"This unfortunate event nonetheless shows how Governor Palin is just as qualified as Vice President Cheney, arguably the most powerful occupant of the office the country has ever seen," said Al Cohall, weapons safety officer for the McCain-Palin campaign.

Palin consciously based Saturday's hunt on Cheney's storied hunting parties, said Cohall. She drank beer during lunch, waited until an hour after the accident before contacting authorities, and then put off being interviewed by those authorities until the next day. Whittington was even airlifted to Christus Spohn Hospital Corpus Christi-Memorial, where he was taken after being shot by Cheney in 2006.

An initial report by the Alaska Department of Fish and Game stated that the incident occurred when Palin was turning to track a moose with her weapon. Whittington, who was modeling a moose costume he planned to wear on Halloween for another hunter, was ahead of Palin and out of the hunting line. Palin mistook Whittington for a real moose, raised her rifle and fired, hitting Whittington.

"I thought it was a Mooslim," Palin told DFG officers, according to the report.

Erik Wilson, a Christus Spohn media relations officer, said Whittington is in critical but improving condition.

"He has taken out a restraining order directing that any vice president or vice presidential candidate of any country must stay at least 500 feet away from him," Wilson said.

The McCain-Palin campaign has refused Whittington's request to reimburse him for the damage deposit on the moose costume.

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Liberal lends 'sheen' to conservative initiative

"Hello, this is Martin Sheen urging you to support Washington's Initiative 985.

Tim Eyman's ingenius Initiative 985 will remove a lurking threat to the lives and liberty of Washington motorists: lane markings.

The current transportation system lowers road capacity by dividing streets and highways into lanes, and puts stop lines and crosswalks in drivers' ways. Removing these artificial barriers will increase capacity and speed, ending traffic jams. Fewer people will kill themselves out of frustration, and less road rage will lead to fewer dying from hissy fits behind the wheel.

Removing lanes also increases equality. Why should those poor carless people on buses be confined to diamond lanes during rush hour? Why should carpooling elites get to drive in diamond lanes when it's not rush hour? I-985 will end this senseless discrimination.

How are we for time? Because, I also want to put in a good word for California Proposition 8. I'm all for gays and lesbians, but have you thought about how much worse traffic will be if they clog the roads by increasing the number of wedding motorcades?

I'm Martin Sheen for Washington's Initiative 985 and California Proposition 8, and I don't know what's come over me."

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Lottery players group gives nod to McCain

Saying Barack Obama's tax policies will be bad for its membership, the American Sweep Stakes and Lottery Investors Coalition (ASSLIC) today gave its 2008 presidential endorsement to John Sidney McCain III.

"ASSLIC'S FOR MCCAIN," proclaims a banner on the organization's website.

The ASSLIC endorsement could be a key boost for McCain, who trails Democrat Obama by as much as 10 points in some polls with only 13 days to go until election day.

McCain welcomed the endorsement, saying it shows voters want low taxes on the rich, just in case they should hit the jackpot themselves. He also took the opportunity to reach out to the millions of American lottery 'investors,' as ASSLIC's members like to be called. "Lottery tickets are good because they are a totally voluntary form of taxation," said McCain.

"My opponent doesn't understand that by raising taxes on those who win smaller jackpots -- low income lottery investors -- he's discouraging everyone from playing lotteries, which fund education among other things. That's what's important. Raising taxes on lottery winners would hurt education," McCain said.

Typical among ASSLIC members is the story of Moe The Gambler, the now-famous probability optimist from Northwood, Ohio. Moe approached Obama last week as the Democratic nominee was campaigning in the Toledo suburb. Going up to Obama, Moe The Gambler asked: "I've been playing the same numbers for 10 years, and am getting ready to win $250,000 in the Ohio state lottery. You're going to raise my taxes, aren't ya?"

Obama explained his proposed tax cuts would actually benefit Moe. "Look. I'm giving a tax cut to everyone making less than $250,000," Obama began.

"Now, if you take your lottery winnings in a series of annual installments, that's less than $250,000 a year. Under my plan you get a tax cut. Even if you take your winnings as a single lump sum, up-front, that's less than $250,000 too," Obama explained.

Moe thanked Obama for talking to him. But later, in interviews on the Cartoon Network and Fox News, Moe The Gambler said he just didn't believe what Obama said.

"A Democrat cutting taxes blows my mind, it makes my head hurt. I can't understand it, so I'm just gonna call it socialism and head over to the track," Moe The Gambler said.

In a related story, during a campaign stop in Pennsylvania yesterday, McCain accused Obama of wanting to shrink the pie and replace it with a falafel.

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"I am tolerant of witches and heathens," she says

Conceding that it takes all kinds to make a world, Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin today sought to distance herself from controversial witch-hunting pastor Thomas Muthee.

Muthee is best known for a successful faith-based block watch program he started in 1989 in his native Kenya. A community development best practice, Muthee's program is based on running out of town any witches who cause crime and traffic accidents.

Muthee was invited to bring the program to Wasilla, Alaska, in 2005 by then-mayor Palin. In short order a coven of Unitarians was uncovered, leading to a 34% reduction in traffic accidents. The preacher also looked into rumors of hollow trees said by locals to function as havens for elfin bakers.

Reading from a prepared statement, Palin said: "While I believe in Pastor Muthee and am grateful for the way he prayed to the lord to make a way for me in finances and also my campaign for governor of Alaska, I can no longer accept his support because it scares the undecideds, also I have to say I am tolerant of witches and heathens and their Satan-influenced lifestyle choices."

"Some of my best friends are witches, also, I really enjoyed that old Bewitched show and her first husband Darren, I didn't much care for the second Darren, also my kids Piper and Bristol, also Willow, enjoy those Harry Potter books also," Palin said.

Perhaps the most startling revelation by Palin was that she herself "experimented with witchcraftianism" at two of the six colleges she attended.

"But after the first 26 times I was with other witches I decided it wasn't fer me, oh no," Palin said, winking.

"Also as vice president, if I am so privileged to serve, I will improve automobile safety also by starting a national awareness campaign, and use witch hunts only in certain limited cases," she said.

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"Bad for electoral atmosphere"

Fighting for his political life, Republican presidential hopeful John Sidney McCain III today reached out to environmentalists by making a pledge to reduce air quote pollution. The announcement comes 48 hours after McCain elicited criticism of his use of air quotes, while debating Democratic frontrunner Barack Obama at Hofstra University.

The university is one of a growing number of municipalities and institutions that have adopted indoor or total bans on air quotes in recent years.

McCain said after the debate that he was unaware of the Hofstra ban.

Over the years the Arizona senator has held a laissez faire position on air quotes, but has changed his stance after receiving a mountain of negative feedback in the two days since the debate.

"I've received quite an education, I've learned how bad air quotes are for the electoral atmosphere," McCain said. He said he was shocked when told the U.S. has only 5 percent of the world's index and middle fingers, yet is responsible for 75 percent of the planet's air quote production.

"I just want to help clear the air. I am probably responsible for more air quotes than can be justified for someone like me who has so little appreciation for sarcasm," McCain said. He went on to pledge to take steps to reduce his use of all forms of gestural punctuation, commonly known as a personal fingerprint.

"The fact that a stage three gaffe alert was issued in the middle of the final debate with my opponent serves to highlight the need for each of us to make a difference, to make our fingerprints smaller," said McCain, adding that he now wished he had kept his hands flat on the table.

McCain said much of the blame can be traced to the fields of art and literary criticism, entertainment reporting, and blogging. "Strong federal regulations, such as a cap and trade system, are needed to control unsustainable use of this limited pretentious resource," he concluded.

McCain made his remarks during a campaign stop in Algona, Washington, which he praised for producing the lowest number of air quotes per capita in America. The town's Algona Hands Down awareness campaign urges residents to use alternatives such as shrugging, and air apostrophes which reduce finger use by 50 percent.

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Will run country like struggling P.I. business

(Hempstead, NY) The final presidential debate of 2008 took a dramatic turn tonight, with John Sidney McCain III overshadowing Democratic rival Barack Obama with yet another Hail Mary gambit.

McCain made his move during his closing statement. Following up on discussion of the economy that dominated the debate, McCain told the Hofstra University audience that the times call for drastic action.

"While the fundamentals of the economy are strong, the underpinnings of the economy are in deep doo-doo. Therefore it is time to take being a maverick to the next level," he said.

"My friends, it's time for me to be the rockford."

McCain said a rockford is the perfect leader for these times. "Being a rockford means being clever, knowing how to con the con artists and, most of all, staying a step ahead of the bill collectors."

"That is how I am going to lead us out of this fundamentally sound economic crisis -- like it's a struggling private investigation business. America is going to lay low until the repo men go away, maybe go fishing in Baja," he said.

Obama interjected that he wants to focus on priorities and jobs. McCain dismissed that as "too conventional, too nine-to-five."

"What Barack Hussein Caligula Delano Molotov Fidel Yasser Chi Minh Herod Tse Obama doesn't seem to understand is, America needs a leader who's his own boss," said McCain.

"It's time for a president who sets his own hours. A president who goes from week to week helping the little guy, righting wrongs, and charming the senoritas. In other words, a rockford," McCain said.

Martin

Commenting in the traditional post-debate 'spin alley,' nervous McCain-Palin spokesman Angel Martin said a rockford will make sure the economic recovery leaves no one behind.

"You gotta trust me on this, man. Jimmy is always there whenever I need to borrow fifty bucks. And when I need to get bailed out, he's someone I can always call, even if it's 3 a.m.," he said.

"So if America needs a bailout, Jimmy's your man, he's the best. Can I interest you in some deeply discounted flat panel televisions?

Tonight the Straight Talk Express is up on blocks in the parking lot of a beachfront restaurant in Malibu, California.

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Links Dow surge to canceling economics speech

The U.S. stock market closed sharply up Monday, and Republican presidential nominee John Sidney McCain III says his new economics policy should get the credit.

Dubbed 'placebonomics,' the McCain plan involves hinting at a major new statement on the struggling economy, and then canceling it at the last minute.

"A big part of how Wall Street acts is based on psychology," McCain-Palin statistical consultant Stan Dardeviasian said during a special briefing for reporters.

"Placebonomics works by creating an expectation of impending disaster -- a McCain economics speech -- and then calling it off, making the market think a disaster has been diverted," explained Dardeviasian.

"In short, it's all in their heads," he said. The Dow gained 936 points Monday, after an 8 day, 2400 point slide.

The candidate himself is crediting his "maverick instincts" for hitting on the placebonomics strategy. Campaigning in North Carolina, McCain told a rally in Wilmington that in a McCain administration, they should expect the unexpected.

"Like I told Samuel F.B. Morse back in the day, I'm not going to telegraph my punches to the enemies of America," McCain told the audience.

"I've got unassessed PTSD! No one's going to know what I'll do next, not Barack Hussein Dalai Lama Buddha Confucius Muhammad Obama, not Vladimir Putin, not Osama Bin Laden. Heck, I don't even know what I'll do next."

McCain ended the rally with a surprise. "In closing, I want to slow things down a bit, in keeping with my desire for a respectful campaign," he said, taking out an acoustic guitar and performing a medley of Jim Croce songs.

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Challenges Obama to work together on bailout of candidacy

Republican presidential nominee John Sidney McCain III today announced he is suspending his campaign, in order to focus on reversing the crash in McCain-Palin poll numbers.

"There are some things that transcend politics, and right now this sub-Obama poll crisis is first and foremost," McCain told the annual convention of the Congress On Racial Non-Integration or Equality (CORNIE), an Appalachia-based Caucasian American organization.

"My paranoid, racist and xenophobic friends, it seems my campaign has been based on leveraging limited political capital. Lobbyists have invested heavily in me, but we are no longer able to sustain this bubble. My stock in fear and ignorance is almost worthless, and my poll numbers have plummeted," he told CORNIE.

McCain said he would immediately return to the capital in order to fully concentrate on making and serving the food and beverages for a hastily-called Congressional Republican meeting to prop up McCain's popularity.

The meeting, entitled 'No More Years: Avoiding Five Decades in the Minority,' could go round the clock and last several days, according to McCain.

"These senators and representatives will be working long hours on a plan to save my ass. They'll need sandwiches, wraps, Caesar salads, and maybe an unexpected treat, I'm thinking spanakopita. With big oatmeal raisin cookies for dessert," he said.

"I'll need a sous chef. I challenge my opponent to suspend his campaign, and join me in catering this important event," McCain said, adding that he considers it more important than the third debate.

"Who is the real Barack Adolph Hussein Oswald Obama?" asked McCain.

"Is he someone who only puts himself first? Or will he answer this call to put me first? We'll see."

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Post-debate poll

Republican presidential nominee John Sidney McCain III scored big with the important malevolent energy cloud-being demographic in tonight's debate against Democratic rival Barack Obama, a post-debate snap-poll has found.

Of 280 malevolent energy cloud-beings surveyed by phone, 90% thought McCain had won, while 8% weren't sure, and 2% favored independent candidate Ralph Nader.

Like "NASCAR dads" and "security moms" of recent elections, members of the hyperintelligent non-corporeal community have emerged as an important force in the 2008 election, due to the injection of charged issues of race, fear of terrorism, and an uncertain economy.

"McCain's negative energy and dark soul attracts Zan-Tor," said Zan-Tor, a malevolent energy cloud-being who works for the Washington Department of Motor Vehicles in Auburn, Washington.

"McCain has gone negative all this week, Zan-Tor feels That One will best adapt to serve Zan-Tor," Zan-Tor explained.

"Zan-Tor feeds on conflict, and McCain will make the nations of the world fight. Zan-Tor supports this," Zan-Tor said, going on to say that Zan-Tor can see the dark aura around McCain's head.

Another malevolent energy cloud-being, a Florida resident who goes by the name Coul-Ter, said she feels McCain won the debate because he scared the most people.

"Coul-Ter is drawn to fear, and McCain scared the most Humans during the debate. He is like one of us. He scared them about health care, national security, and most of all the economy, the fear tastes good to Coul-Ter," she said.

Malevolent energy cloud-being Rush-Limbaugh, perhaps the best known malevolent energy cloud-being-American, said malevolent energy cloud-beings back McCain and his running mate Sarah Palin because malevolent energy cloud-beings place a high importance on lack of education.

"Rush-Limbaugh says negative energy and fear come from ignorance," Rush-Limbaugh observed, noting that McCain would make President Bush's knowledge cuts permanent.

"McCain is the kind of guy malevolent energy cloud-beings want to drink a Human's life energy with. The performance of McCain in this debate pretty much locked up his support among malevolent energy cloud-beings," Rush-Limbaugh said.

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Positive for Smarties

Gov. Sarah Palin today denied she used artificial debate performance enhancers to prepare for her debate with Democratic Sen. Joe Biden.

The controversy began yesterday, when the Presidential Debate Commission announced that urine samples taken from Palin immediately after last Thursday's debate were found to contain abnormally high levels of Smarties. Immediately following the debate, pundits commented that Palin seemed much more smart and poised than she had in previous media interviews.

Smarties A cache was seized.

The Presidential Debate Commission routinely tests presidential and vice presidential nominees for debate performance enhancers, as part of its "P Is For President Program" (PIFPP). Nominees are required to submit A and B samples to reduce the chance of false positives.

The McCain-Palin campaign has not officially made Palin available for testing, placing the blame on her reportedly shy bladder. Instead, the samples tested were acquired nonconventionally, by PIFPP staff member Ethan Hunt (see mission photo, below).

Mission Urinpossible + Debate Commission acquires sample

Both samples tested positive for Smarties. At the same time it was announced Biden tested positive only for Propecia, which does not make one smarter.

Based on Palin's test, the commission revealed it raided the McCain-Palin training facility on the McCain ranch in Cornville, Arizona, on Sunday. A source with the commission said a carton of Smarties were found.

Speaking before a rally of puzzled supporters in Clearwater, Florida, John Sidney McCain III's ticket-mate was as defiant as she was with debate moderator Gwen Ifill.

"If I failed the A and B tests, it's because I never give the results the testers want, or in the way they want," said Palin.

"Being a maverick is such a big part of who I am, that even my pee is maverickey. It goes in unexpected directions, all over the place," she said.

Palin explained the Smarties "belong to my children, who are off limits." She said the matter was therefore closed.

"The next person who asks me about Smarties can suck my flute," she said with a wink.

In a related story, Palin said that the only contraceptive method she supports is an aspirin in a Coke.

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Fixes data retrieval errors

Microsoft released a fix for the Palin 1.0 application today, responding to performance problems with Gov. Sarah Palin during last Thursday's vice presidential debate at Washington University in St. Louis.

"We finally got the stalling problem worked out on Thursday morning, and things seemed fine during the debate's first 5 minutes or so," said Del MacGateway, IT director for the McCain-Palin campaign.

"Then all of a sudden she started giving the wrong answers to the questions, and then ignored the format all together. 'There you go again' and 'say it ain't so Joe' came out at the same time," said MacGateway.

"She gave an inappropriate response when Biden spoke about raising his sons alone. Obviously Palin's file system was corrupted," he said.

He went on to say the problem also spread to the audio system, "with the result Palin sounded more and more Fargo than usual as the debate went on," a reference to the Cohen brothers motion picture.

MacGateway said he filed Palin's popup online bug report with Microsoft immediately after the debate.

In a press conference this morning, Microsoft spokesman Rita Doss confirmed the problem was the file system. "The queries were correctly formed, but for some reason Palin 1.0 was retrieving the wrong answer files -- and usually sound bites about energy policy," said Doss.

"Our support team worked through the weekend, and are confident this new patch solves the problem," she said.

However, the fix will not affect Palin's accent. "That's not a bug, it's a feature called Fauxksy, expensively voiced by Frances McDormand," Ms. Doss said.

Doss also announced Microsoft has no plans to issue a version 2.0 of Palin, due to its steadily declining popularity. The company will provide limited support to the core user base until November.

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Debates way out of paper bag

(St. Louis) GOP vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin surprised doubters tonight, easily sidestepping Senator Joe Biden's use of a clever debate tactic.

Biden had been widely expected to wipe the floor with his Republican rival, so much so that the Obama campaign, as well as pundits, had spent several days lowering their expectations for Palin.

Those expectations were easily exceeded.

Palin's big moment came about 20 minutes into the debate, when Biden walked over to Palin's lectern to make a point about Senator John Sidney McCain III's proposal to tax health benefits. Then Biden smoothly removed a paper grocery bag from his jacket pocket and placed it over Palin's head. Sharp intakes of breath could be heard as members of the audience reacted in surprise. They quieted as debate moderator Gwen Ifill asked Palin if she had a response.

Lack of command of the issues and only a short time to prepare, thought to be Palin liabilities, instead appeared to work to her advantage. Perspiring heavily, Palin was able to moisten the bag to the point where she was easily able to peck her way through the brown paper.

Palin took only sixty seconds to extricate herself, leaving thirty seconds in which she was able to regain her composure, smile broadly and say, "No, Gwen, I have nothing to add, other than 'drill baby, drill'."

Although she lost some style points by accidentally tearing off one of the handles, most campaign observers agreed that Palin handled the paper bag well.

"It was a little rough, as far as debates go. But those glued paper handles can come off pretty easily," said Dale Flimsy, founder of the American Plastic Grocery Bag Manufacturers of America, a bag industry PAC.

"And she did get out of the bag, that's what's important."

Also impressed was George F. Will, national affairs columnist for Sports Retail Supply Chain Monthly, who had recently been critical of Palin. "Biden forgot that you never think you've got the win in the bag before the last out," he observed.

"Palin did not stay in the bag, and earned the save. This has to be a relief to Elephants skipper John McCain, who ties up the series 1-1," Will said.

Obama adviser David Axelrod allowed the choice of bag may have been a tactical mistake. "Biden probably should not have used a paper bag. We considered using a plastic bag, but decided plastic would send the wrong message about sustainability," Axelrod said.

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Connecticut For Lieberman Party joins coalition

Seeking to salvage the $700 billion Wall Street bailout bill that went down to defeat Monday in the House of Representatives, Senator John Sidney McCain III today called for continued bipartisan cooperation to secure the bill's passage.

But McCain gave a characteristically maverick spin to his call for unity, reaching across the aisle not to the Democratic majority, but to the next largest minority caucus, the Connecticut For Lieberman Party.

"Senator Obama and his allies in Congress infused unnecessary partisanship into the process," said McCain, referring to Democratic rival Barack Obama, in describing why the bailout failed 205-228.

"So that doesn't work. Okay. I'm adaptable. Therefore, logically, what we need is a process with necessary partisanship, and that means an alliance between Republicans and Connecticut For Lieberman," McCain said.

Senator Joe Lieberman (Connecticut For Lieberman-CT), Connecticut For Lieberman leader in the Senate, welcomed the opportunity to make a difference. "The Connecticut For Lieberman Party accepts Senator McCain's invitation," said Lieberman.

"We look forward to a constructive, bipartisan relationship that will allow us to achieve great things for the states of Connecticut and Israel," Lieberman said.

Lieberman went on to say that although the Connecticut For Lieberman Congressional Caucus only has two members, they have a proven strategy for increasing its clout.

"Free market principles are guiding us in that area," said Lieberman, explaining that he and House counterpart Brian Baird (Connecticut For Lieberman-WA) will use investment leverage, borrowed from the very financial community they hope to rescue, in order to give their two votes the power of up to 80 votes.

"It's a very safe investment of political capital," Lieberman said.

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