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''Helen, where are we going to keep a horse statue that big?'' -King Priam
 
 

Jan. 2011

3 Christine O'Donnell denies having hand in cookie jar
6 Panel vote defunds high speed rail, approves national Crazy Train system
11 Palin urges followers - "Terminate violent speech with extreme prejudice"
13 Palin says her books don't incite violence either
14 Palin unveils "final solution" economic plan
18 Boehner Fast-Tracks Jobs Creation Bill
19 Palin deplores collegiality as House takes up health reform repeal
24 Cheney to run for local office in Wyoming
27 Paul Ryan plan to break "addiction to Socialist Security"

   "Where's the

   Archive?"

January 27, 2011
Paul Ryan plan to break "addiction to Socialist Security"

Tax credit for Walmart entrances could create 3 million greeter jobs

The golden years of future generations of Americans will take on a big smiley face, if the chief budget writer for House Republicans has his way.

The new plan by Rep. Paul Ryan (R-Wisconsin) would literally open doors for seniors by instituting a tax credit to encourage creation of more entrances at Walmarts nationwide.

"Two of the greatest challenges we are facing are jobs and breaking addiction to Socialist Security," said Ryan, the Budget Committee chairman. "We can solve both problems at the same time by incentivizing the private sector's leading retailer to hire more retirees."

And what an incentive -- to the tax code Ryan would add a $50,0000 annual tax credit for each Walmart entrance. If the Arkansas-based discount giant takes full advantage of the credit, the approximately 3,800 Walmart Discount Stores, Supercenters and supermarkets in the United States would be retrofitted with more than 750 entrances each -- or 3 million front doors, according to an estimate by the Office of the House Doorkeeper.

"Each of those new Walmart doors will require a greeter, enabling seniors to get off Socialist Security and back to work in a rewarding career," Ryan said.

Ryan explained that changes in American lifestyles mean the seniors of tomorrow will have less time to spend with their grandchildren.

"At least not if I'm able to get a child labor tax credit into the budget," Ryan said.

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January 24, 2011
Cheney to run for local office in Wyoming

"Most qualified to serve on the water board"

As the nation continues to marvel at the progress Arizona Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords is making in recovering from the January 8 attempt on her life, conservatives are today reminding Americans not to overlook the heroic fight for life by another politician: Dick Cheney.

Shirley A. Nutt, a fan of Cheney, said the former vice president has made enormous strides in coming back from 2010 heart surgery to implant a gasoline-powered circulatory pump.

"But you wouldn't know it from watching the mainstream media's obsession with Giffords day after day," said Nutt, a Tea Party activist from Westmost, North Carolina.

"Here's the bravest of men -- a leader who helped keep the nation safe starting September 12, 2001 -- robbed of his pulse by heart disease and hasn't received a heart transplant yet, so much for Obamacare. Yet the media hasn't reported that he has risen from his sick bed to run for local office," she said.

Last week Cheney filed papers to run for the Water Board in Jackson, Wyoming, where Cheney and his wife Lynn maintain their primary residence. "Dick Cheney is the most qualified to serve on the water board," Nutt said.

"When I found out there is a town so patriotic it would set up a Water Board to protect its citizens from terrorists, I immediately thought of Dick Cheney. He's perfect for the job, since he created the water board policy for the Bush White House."

"That the liberal media hasn't reported Cheney's candidacy, well, it makes me so mad I want to ask Michele Bachmann to investigate who in the media is pro-America, and who is anti-America," Nutt said.

Olbermann exit shakes up MSNBC lineup

In other news, MSNBC has announced its revamped weekday evening lineup sans Keith Olbermann, who abruptly departed his long running "Countdown" program on Friday.

Beginning tonight, "The Last Word" with Lawrence O'Donnell will air first at 8 pm, followed by Ed Schultz hosting "The Rachel Maddow Show" at 9pm, and Maddow anchoring "The Ed Show" at 10pm.

Making his network news hosting debut at 11pm is Tom DeLay, hosting "Tom DeLay: Inside." A spin-off of MSNBC's "Lock-up" documentary series, DeLay will broadcast nightly from the library of the Texas State Penitentiary at Huntsville.

According to an MSNBC statement, "'Tom DeLay: Inside' will feature the former House Republican leader's unique perspective on the news, plus interviews with other GOP experts who are current, former and future guests of the federal and state prison systems."

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January 19, 2011
Palin deplores collegiality as House takes up health reform repeal

On its first day of business on Tuesday, delayed a week by the Jan. 8 attempted assassination of Rep. Gabrielle Giffords, the GOP-led House of Representatives took up the repeal of health reform and the debate was notable for its civility -- a development Sarah Palin deplored as "boring."

In an interview with Fox News host Sean Hannity, Fox News commentator and potential 2012 presidential candidate Palin professed shock at the lack of the lack of decorum on display in the House yesterday.

"I can't believe what a load of wimps and wusses are darin' to call themselves Republican these days," Palin said, and asked: "What happened to the inspirational, excitin', rabble rousin' speechifying of the last two years?"

"Not one Republican said they were going to shoot down reform, take it out, target it, blow it away, or drop reform in its tracks like a moose on the tundra," Palin said. "And not one Republican called a Democrat an evil America-hatin' grandma killer."

"Instead, it was 'my distinguished colleague' this, and 'I disagree with the gentle lady' that -- bore-roar-ing!" she told Hannity.

Palin blamed the new legislative civility on the national discussion on gun violence in the wake of the Giffords shooting. "You have one little national tragedy in the news and suddenly people are afraid to speak their minds and call Obamacare what it is: a shot in the head to jobs and the economy."

Palin's advice to House Republicans for the second day of the 112th Congress? "Man up and and go hunting for Obamacare! Target Democrats who defend the death panels! Your high capacity magazines are loaded with the hot leads of truth, so use 'em!"

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January 18, 2011
Boehner Fast-Tracks Jobs Creation Bill

GOP plan would clone Apple CEO

House Republicans continued to focus like a laser on its mantra of "jobs, jobs, jobs" today, as Speaker John Boehner unveiled the GOP's long-awaited Jobs Creation Act of 2011.

"We're keeping the campaign promise we made to the American people to create more Jobs," Boehner told the National Press Club.

"It's no coincidence that Apple CEO Steve Jobs has relapsed following passage of Obamacare. We're going to fix that with the Repeal the Jobs-Killing Health Care Law bill, but we're thinking about the future too," he said.

"A Jobs must always be in the top job at Apple. As we speak, our economics team is putting the finishing touches on the Jobs Creation Act. It will turn loose the best health care system in the world on an emergency effort to clone Steve Jobs, America's greatest technology mind."

Boehner said if signed by President Obama, the law will create a federal lottery for biotech companies and medical schools, which would obtain a supply of stem cells harvested from Jobs during earlier procedures to treat pancreatic cancer.

"Republicans are taking this action because Apple puts 'i' in front of everything, which is what the GOP stands for," Boehner said.

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January 14, 2011
Palin unveils "final solution" economic plan

Sarah Palin began a five-city tour today, promoting a new plan to revitalize the U.S. economy.

The former Alaska governor appears to have shaken off the negative reaction to her web video video, released Wednesday, in which Palin likened criticism linking her fiery rhetoric to the Tucson massacre amounted to a "blood libel" against her. Condemnation swiftly followed Palin's use of the term, an anti-Semitic slur dating back to the 12th century.

Palin is clearly eager to move on from the controversy, relocating a scheduled Miami Beach speech on the energy sector to the dining room of the Mount Sinai Retired Living Center in order to speak to a predominantly Jewish audience.

"The American people want solutions for the lack of jobs in America, and I've come here to talk about my solution, created in consultation with top free market economists. I call it my final solution," Palin she in her speech to an early lunch audience.

"The Democrat Party is sending us down a road to ruin with energy policies that kill jobs and environmental policies that raise gas prices," she said, "the American people shouldn't have to choose between jobs and driving, that's a Sophie's choice."

Palin said her approach is to emphasize near term production of cheap energy. "I'm reiterating today the truth that we should drill baby, drill, as well as dig lots of coal that can be turned into oil. Radical environmentalists want to shut down coal mines, I'm making a Schindler's list of coal mines I want to save," she said.

After speaking, Palin toured a daycare center located in Mount Sinai, where she spoke to children and handed out "Palin2012" arm tattoos.

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January 13, 2011
Palin says her books don't incite violence either

Any link to violence is fault of editors, ghostwriters

Sarah Palin continued Thursday to deny charges her fiery oratorical style played a role in the weekend attack in Tucson, Arizona, that killed six and left Democratic Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords and 13 others wounded. Today the former Alaska governor broadened her defense to include her two books.

"My words don't persuade anyone to do anything, and that includes the words I wrote in Going Rogue and America By Heart," Palin told Fawn Craven on the Fox News program Craven Journalism.

"For one thing, both my books were bought by organizations not people, mostly, so not only are they not being read by that many people, you have to remember that I only wrote very small portions of them and also, too, the parts that I did write were heavily rewritten by editors," Palin said.

She continued: "So, statistically, I am responsible for nothing in those books and can't be blamed if any insane people got ideas from them as well, because no ideas were intentionally included but, if there were, the finger of blame ought to be pointed at the publishing industry."

Instead of political speech and writings, Palin said, "good people who oppose violence should be taking a close look at heavy metal music, sex on television, and un-Americans who have taken God out of our public schools."

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January 11, 2011
Palin urges followers - "Terminate violent speech with extreme prejudice"

Concerned about the role of heated political rhetoric in the Tucson, Arizona, shooting last Saturday which left 6 dead and wounded Rep. Gabrielle Giffords and 13 others, Sarah Palin yesterday issued an impassioned plea to followers to end the use of vitriolic speech.

"Gosh darn it, the hate has got to end. You've got to terminate violent speech with extreme prejudice, take aim and put it down like an elk," the former Alaska governor wrote in an e-mail to her SarahPAC mailing list, known since the 2008 campaign as 'The Lone Gunmen.'

This morning, in an interview with WACK-AM in Westmost, North Carolina, Palin turned tables on critics who she said misunderstand the land surveying symbols on the now-infamous map of pro-health reform Democrats she targeted for defeat in 2010. "Democrats use surveyor's marks and clearly violent symbols too, and in ways that are even more extreme," said Palin.

Palin noted she has heard Democrats are using a map with icons shaped like Republicans being garroted by plumb lines. "And also, too, in 2004 John Kerry marked the places he campaigned against Republicans with bullseyes, which conjures violent images of darts and beer," she said.

However, Palin said she bore no ill will toward critics who say her rhetoric had a role in the Tucson tragedy. "They're so mistaken, but I love my critics to death. I just want to pump them full of hugs and then reload and hit 'em again," Palin said.

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January 6, 2011
Panel vote defunds high speed rail, approves national Crazy Train system

The new House of Representatives Republican majority began their war against the bloated federal budget today, with a key committee approving a bill defunding President Obama's national high speed rail plan. The administration had intended the $8 billion to jump start rail projects in key corridors.

"High speed rail isn't the answer to our transportation problem if it means taxpayer funding, we believe the answer can be found in American exceptionalism," said the bill's author, Transportation Committee chairman Rep. John Mica of Florida.

"Exceptionalism means the whole world will have high speed rail networks, except the United States," he said.

Instead of European-style high speed rail, Mica's bill authorizes high speed Crazy Train, an old technology promoted by conservative think tanks. It is based on designs by the Renaissance inventor Curly DaVinci, a cousin of Leonardo who spent the final three decades of his life trying to train sheep to fly.

Mica said the advantage of the Crazy Train is that it is a private sector solution. "Capital costs are very low, limited to $8 billion in lobbying expenses and campaign contributions."

"Operating and maintenance costs are zero because there are no engines, no cars, no personnel, no stations, no rails, and no rights of way," Mica said, adding: "Yet it is high speed, meaning it will go nowhere fast."

As to the technology's effectiveness, Mica said "the only limits on the speed and passenger capacity of the Crazy Train are the imaginations of the American people."

New Energy and Commerce Committee chairman Fred Upton said he hoped Speaker John Boehner will bring the bill to the floor for a quick vote. "The Crazy Train uses no energy, we need more green solutions like this."

Mica said calls to his office from Tea Party voters are running 99 to 1 in support of the plan. "Everyone's getting on board the Crazy Train," Mica said.

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January 3, 2011
Christine O'Donnell denies having hand in cookie jar

Or anywhere else

Christine O'Donnell is continuing to defend herself against charges of misusing campaign funds. Former aides have dogged the former Delaware Senate candidate with persistent allegations she spent funds from 2008, 2009 and 2010 campaigns on rent and other personal expenses.

Now, the Justice Department has announced an investigation of O'Donnell, although it is unclear if it would examine her 2010 Senate run against Democrat Chris Coons, earlier campaigns, or both.

O'Donnell reiterated her denial of the accusations today. "I haven't had my hand in the cookie jar," she told ABC's "Good Morning, America."

"No matter what you call it, I haven't had my hand in it. Not in the piggy bank, the coin return, the fun box, or the honey pot. Nor have I been sliding into third base, stealing picnic baskets, or sinking the two-ball in the corner pocket," said O'Donnell.

"I also haven't been digging for clams, stuffing the falafel, harvesting the horn of plenty, cleaning out the rain gutters, investigating the Bermuda Triangle, or searching for the Treasure of the Sierra Madre," she said.

But even though she is now facing a federal probe, the former candidate is unfazed. "I welcome such a probe. Yes. Please. Probe me. Oh god yes, probe me," O'Donnell said.

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