The US Census is seeking $205 million in 2005 for intercensal work, to include a measurement of migration across our borders. Well I think I can save them a lot of time: 'It's happening'. $205 million, please. But seriously, who better to reflect upon the multicultural character of the USA than someone who by her very existence embodies multiculturalism? Mr_Blog therefore asks you to give a warm round of applause for our first Guest Blogger, Mr_Blog's east coast cousin, everyone's favorite Vestal Vermin: Hannah... C... Feldman! Hannah, thanks for digging into your archives for this interesting and worthwhile entry. Take it away!

Fitting a melting pot into a census box. The new census is underway, and this year, for the first time, individuals will be able to list themselves under more than one racial category, a nod to the United States' ever-increasing multiracial population.
      I will not be checking the box marked "Chinese." I will be checking the box marked "White," which makes sense since I am white and in no way could be mistaken for someone of Asian descent. If you were to guess my ethnic background, you'd probably choose Jewish. And you'd be right. Sort of. But only half right, or maybe a third right. The truth is, I am American, and in the new millennium that's not something that can be easily quantified.
      The thing is, I'm also Chinese.
      Let me give you the background: My father is the son of Eastern European Jewish immigrants. My mother, who is white, was raised Southern Baptist. My stepfather Kevin, with whom I have lived since I was 10, is Chinese-American. Because much of his extended family lived in Seattle where I grew up (while my own lived across the country in Florida), my experience of family has been shaped in large part by Kevin's tightly knit Cantonese clan.
      It's an odd thing, to be a stealth Asian like this. I have been party to some of the most racist comments--if I tell you they often involve missing pets, you get the idea--made by relatively politically correct individuals who would never have said any such thing if a visibly Asian person had been in the room. And I've grown used to the puzzled look that invariably greets my first mention of "my Chinese family" in conversation.
      On the flip side, I've sometimes caught strange looks from racially Asian people as I casually slip into an imitation of my late step-grandfather's heavily accented English, or make joking reference to "icky Chinese vegetables," an old family joke. My family is no more functional than any other, and the only way to survive it is to cultivate a healthy sense of self-deprecatory humor. I have to remind myself, however, that to strangers this can sometimes sound disturbingly close to the missing-pet jokes.
      But it's not all angst and identity crisis in the Realm of Racial Ambiguity. One of my favorite stories involves the time I started getting homesick for dim sum, a traditional Chinese form of restaurant meal where you order little plates of appetizers off carts that attendants roll past your table. My step-grandfather worked at a Chinese restaurant for most of his life, and the whole family used to meet there regularly to eat steamed dumplings, sweet rice in lotus leaves, and the occasional chicken foot.
      After years of living without dim sum in Baltimore, I heard of a restaurant just outside of town that served it, and persuaded my friend Kerri to come with me. Kerri grew up in a white, meat-and-potatoes family in New Jersey, but she's Korean by birth--her parents adopted her when she was a toddler. She's very open to new experiences, which was important because dim sum is pretty intimidating if you aren't familiar with the food. I was; for me, dim sum is comfort food, and I was ready to return to my roots.
      At the restaurant, I was in charge of ordering. But then things got weird: No matter what I ordered, the cart attendant would double-check it with Kerri. It didn't matter if I knew the names of the dishes, while Kerri kept eyeing the next thing to hit he plate with slight skepticism. To everyone else in that restaurant, Kerri was the native guide, and I was the clueless foreigner.
      Similarly, even on the new and improved census forms, Kerri will be classified under an Asian category, and I will be classified as white. I know this and am content to check my one uncomplicated box when I get my questionnaire.
      But I also know that whatever data this census gathers, it must necessarily fail to show how truly complex our ever-more-melted pot has become. Because there is a sense--a very real sense--in which Kerri is white, and I am Asian. No census in the world is going to be able to explain that.
Originally published March 20, 2000 in the Baltimore Sun

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A story on AP by Larry Neumeister broke today, and is receiving wide circulation. Susan Lindauer, 40 (or 41, depending upon your choice of news source), the story goes, a former congressional aide and reporter (including the Seattle P-I), has been indicted for spying for Iraq. Excerpts:

"A former Northwest journalist and congressional press secretary was arrested on charges she acted as an Iraqi spy"
"Susan Lindauer... was accused of conspiring to act as a spy for the Iraqi Intelligence Service and engaging in prohibited financial transactions involving the government of Iraq under dictator Saddam Hussein."

Lindauer "made multiple visits from October 1999 through March 2002 to the Iraqi Mission to the United Nations"
"met with several members of the Iraqi Intelligence Service, "
"accepted payments from the Iraqis for her services ... violated a law prohibiting transactions with a government"

Sidebar (Posted March 12): The Seattle P-I take on the Lindauer story makes a great deal of her history of "erratic behavior" and being "a bit unstable". Depending on the results of a court-ordered psychological evaluation (and leaving aside that the good ol' Soviet Union used to use mental illness as an excuse for locking up dissidents), Susan Lindauer's history and recent actions point toward activism, however deluded, more than espionage.

Update (Jan. 2009): Government drops case

Update (March 2009): Lindauer says she was working for CIA handlers!

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Posted March 3, 2004
Lowest rates for Schwarzenegger household!

From: Let Us Buy Your Bonds
To: Arnold Schwarzenegger
Subject: Schwarzenegger, Arnold, Incredible CA 4.7% rates - Now is the time!
Date: Mar 3, 2004 8:54 AM

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Posted March 1, 2004
More Three-Day Weekends!

Let us celebrate the arrival of March with a moment of silence for the American worker. Here is the roll of shame:

See other holidays
Take Back Your Time
International Labour Organization
Slow Food USA

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