http://kinetic.seattle.wa.us/nxtlevel/blog.html Saturday, 21 Nov 2009 11:00:00 -0700 Super Simple RSS webadmin@kinetic.seattle.wa.us http://kinetic.seattle.wa.us/blogs/blog72.html#stupak2 The Michigan 1st District representative hopes to improve chances his restrictions will be in the final version of reform after reconciliation with the version that will come out of the Senate, which is about to begin floor debate... ERITAS News Service news humor parody satire health insurance reform abortion bart stupak randall terry Saturday, 21 Nov 2009 11:00:00 -0700 http://kinetic.seattle.wa.us/blogs/blog72.html#rogue Former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin is a No. 1 author today, thanks to her memoir Going Rogue debuting today at the top of the remainders bin of the national retail bookstore chain Borders... ERITAS News Service news humor parody satire sarah palin going rogue glenn beck Tuesday, 17 Nov 2009 12:00:00 -0700 http://kinetic.seattle.wa.us/blogs/blog72.html#dobbs "I'm sad to leave my CNN friends, but excited to be taking my campaign against multilingualism and illegal immigration straight to the source at Univision," said Dobbs, referring to viewers of the world's #1 Spanish language network. ERITAS News Service news humor parody satire media lou dobbs Wednesday, 11 Nov 2009 19:15:00 -0700 http://kinetic.seattle.wa.us/blogs/blog72.html#stupak ...Refusing to recognize illnesses means they would no longer exist -- solidifying America's position as having the world's best medical system, and saving taxpayers trillions of dollars, Stupak said... ERITAS News Service news humor parody satire politics health insurance reform choice poison pill DINOs bart stupak Tuesday, 10 Nov 2009 07:00:00 -0700 http://kinetic.seattle.wa.us/blogs/blog72.html#ny23 Unsuccessful New York Republican/Conservative Party congressional candidate Doug Hoffman signed a deal late Thursday to write a memoir of his campaign experience and rise to prominence. ERITAS News Service news humor parody satire politics doug hoffman sarah palin dick armey republicans fratricide Friday, 06 Nov 2009 07:00:00 -0700 http://kinetic.seattle.wa.us/blogs/blog72.html#foxx Saying America has more to fear from a government-managed health insurance option than terrorism, Congresswoman Virginia Foxx (R-NC) today introduced sweeping legislation that would place health care reform on a national terror watch list, among a host of security measures. ERITAS News Service news humor parody satire politics virginia foxx joe lieberman douchebag health care reform Tuesday, 03 Nov 2009 07:00:00 -0700 http://kinetic.seattle.wa.us/blogs/blog72.html#douchebag ...Under Lieberman's plan, the U.S. Treasury would be transferred to a consortium of the nation's largest health insurance companies led by Wellpoint and United Health. Giving all the public's money directly to health insurance companies would lower costs by cutting out the middleman, according to Lieberman. ERITAS News Service news humor parody satire politics joe lieberman douchebag health care reform Monday, 02 Nov 2009 07:00:00 -0700 http://kinetic.seattle.wa.us/blogs/blog71.html#bush Good evening. Tell you what, before we start, why don't those of you in the back come and fill up some of these opens seats up front here? Come on, lots of empty seats. Okay, now I can see all your shiny faces. Good evening again, and welcome to my first paid public speaking. Are you ready to rumble? Before I forget, I want to give a special shout-out to the 8,000 of you who won free tickets through 95.9 KFWR The Ranch. ERITAS News Service news humor parody satire politics george w bush worst president ever motivational speech Tuesday, 27 Oct 2009 21:00:00 -0700 http://kinetic.seattle.wa.us/blogs/blog71.html#gasbag (Oct. 22) Authorities are responding to an alarming situation today involving a report of a gas bag drifting aloft that may contain the future of the 150 year old Republican Party. A Sheriff's Office spokesman said Michael Steele placed an emergency 9/11 call after the 6 am CNN Headline News update. Steele told the operator that former Vice President Richard B. Cheney had broken loose from his mooring and was drifting away. "My future! My party's future may be on board!" said the reportedly panicked Republican chairman. ERITAS News Service news humor parody satire politics republicans heene balloon boy dick cheney afghanistan speech Friday, 23 Oct 2009 12:35:00 -0700 http://kinetic.seattle.wa.us/blogs/blog71.html#mayor Candidate Statements - Joe Mallahan, Mike McGinn ERITAS News Service news humor parody satire politics seattle election mike mcginn waterfront tunnel flip mcflop joe mallahan t-mobile catherine zeta-jones star trek Tuesday, 20 Oct 2009 06:20:00 -0700 http://kinetic.seattle.wa.us/blogs/blog71.html#kitten The report, commissioned by the insurance industry from accounting giant PricewaterhouseCoopers, found that competition from a public insurance option will cause a kitten to die. "The kitten is in a sealed box, which is connected to a pressure vessel containing poison gas," said Tim Birely, a vice president with the ERITAS News Service news humor parody satire politics health insurance reform public option guardian life tim birely PricewaterhouseCoopers Monday, 19 Oct 2009 06:00:00 -0700 http://kinetic.seattle.wa.us/blogs/blog71.html#nfl "NFL ownership is a right, not a privilege. When an Everyman like me cannot buy my way into ownership of a football team, the system needs to be reformed," said Limbaugh. "The time has come for a public option... ERITAS News Service news humor parody satire politics sports health insurance reform public option nfl rush limbaugh st louis rams Saturday, 17 Oct 2009 21:20:00 -0700 http://kinetic.seattle.wa.us/blogs/blog71.html#kce Candidate Statements - Dow Constantine, Susan Hutchison ERITAS News Service news humor parody satire politics seattle king county election susan hutchison dow constantine cougar stealth republican Friday, 16 Oct 2009 06:00:00 -0700 http://kinetic.seattle.wa.us/blogs/blog71.html#nobel2 Former Vice President Richard B. Cheney gave the White House some free foreign policy advice today, warning of a grave new threat to non-peace. In his first public comments since the Nobel Peace Prize attack of October 9, Cheney said ERITAS News Service news humor parody satire politics republicans barack obama nobel peace prize dick cheney donald rumsfeld Tuesday, 13 Oct 2009 20:20:00 -0700 http://kinetic.seattle.wa.us/blogs/blog71.html#creighton (Ehhhhlection '09) John Creighton. Although I am running unopposed, I felt it was necessary to explain what I have planned for my second term as a Seattle Port Commissioner. Because as your Port Commissioner, I want you to know that I am watching you. All the time... ERITAS News Service news humor parody satire seattle politics election john creighton stalking harrassment restraining order Monday, 12 Oct 2009 08:00:00 -0700 http://kinetic.seattle.wa.us/blogs/blog71.html#nobel The world's focus shifted northward today, as the international community reacted with surprise to news that the Sitka Duran Duran Fan Club has awarded the 2009 Le Bon Pizza Prize to former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin... ERITAS News Service news humor parody satire republicans barack obama nobel peace prize Friday, 09 Oct 2009 08:50:00 -0700 http://kinetic.seattle.wa.us/blogs/blog71.html#business A wave of closures in the oriental carpet retail sector has provided a potent new issue for critics of President Barack Obama's economic policies. The stores, known as Oriental Carpet Dealers (OCD), offer Persian rugs, Oriental rugs, Kilims, and area carpets at unbelievable prices... ERITAS News Service news humor parody satire republicans economy business barack obama michele bachmann john boehner john ensign bill o'reilly fun with acronyms Thursday, 08 Oct 2009 12:00:00 -0700 http://kinetic.seattle.wa.us/blogs/blog71.html#jobs New jobs figures released by the Department of Labor show a continuing upward trend in unemployment. Here with an expert commentary is Marvin Canny. --Hello, I'm Marvin Canny. Every four years our great nation renews one of our most cherished traditions. I'm speaking of our quadrennial love affair with the presidential impressionist... ERITAS News Service news humor parody satire economy unemployment barack obama impressions fred armisen Monday, 05 Oct 2009 19:15:00 -0700 http://kinetic.seattle.wa.us/blogs/blog71.html#olympics GOP leaders on Capitol Hill are claiming vindication today upon news that the White House cheese was nearly stolen. The government announced this morning that an intruder had gained access to the Cheese Room, but that the historic Jefferson Dairy Case had not been breached. Republicans had predicted trouble if President Obama went to Copenhagen... ERITAS News Service news humor parody satire politics republicans olympics bid chicago barack obama copenhagen Friday, 02 Oct 2009 16:15:00 -0700 http://kinetic.seattle.wa.us/blogs/blog71.html#licataisrael Candidate Statements - Nick Licata, Jessie Israel. ERITAS News Service news humor parody satire politics DINOs seattle election nick licata jessie israel Thursday, 01 Oct 2009 10:45:00 -0700 http://kinetic.seattle.wa.us/blogs/blog70.html#key Thank you Mayor Norris, Walker Texas Ranger is my favorite show ever. Hello ladies, gentlemen and fans... ERITAS News Service news humor parody satire politics conspiracy washington glenn beck mount vernon bud norris Sunday, 27 Sep 2009 13:00:00 -0700 http://kinetic.seattle.wa.us/blogs/blog70.html#falltv While other networks are scaling back with reality programming and even Jay Leno in prime time, one television operation is sticking to its formula. The Creation Science Fiction Channel's new fall season is replete with moves that show it is keeping to its extremely conservative programming strategy. ERITAS News Service news entertainment parody satire media fundamentalist christian creation science media house md star trek sex in the city CSI Doctor Who Tuesday, 22 Sep 2009 18:20:00 -0700 http://kinetic.seattle.wa.us/blogs/blog70.html#exgov Dear Ex-Governor, With the kids away at college, the wife and I are thinking about taking a little vacation. Has the dollar rebounded enough to ERITAS News Service news politics parody satire health insurance reform sarah palin death panels Friday, 18 Sep 2009 06:00:00 -0700 http://kinetic.seattle.wa.us/blogs/blog70.html#youlie "I'm sorry," Muntader al-Zaidi told a gathering of reporters at the al-Baghdadia television studio, and added, "that America had such a satanic warmongering leader for eight years." A reporter for al-Baghdadia who was covering the Dec. 14, 2008 press conference... ERITAS News Service news parody satire health insurance reform rep. joe wilson you lie george w bush single payer Iraq occupation Muntader al-Zaidi shoes Tuesday, 15 Sep 2009 18:30:00 -0700 http://kinetic.seattle.wa.us/blogs/blog70.html#912 The marchers, who call themselves "9-12ers," said they want to remind Americans of the confusion, fear and anger they felt the morning of September 12, 2001. Many said the confusion, fear and anger that served as the basis of Bush Administration policy should continue to determine national policy, and hoped President Barack Obama would receive their message. "Hussein Obama hasn't changed the color coded terror alert status, ERITAS News Service news parody satire barack obama republicans health insurance reform 9-12 march right wing wackos teabaggers glenn beck Sunday, 13 Sep 2009 13:50:00 -0700 http://kinetic.seattle.wa.us/blogs/blog70.html#speech "Not every committee hearing you attend may be interesting. Every bill you work on may not seem relevant to your life. But the work you do here this year will help enact real health reform for the American people," Obama said. ERITAS News Service news parody satire barack obama students parents education republicans joint session congress health insurance reform Wednesday, 09 Sep 2009 21:00:00 -0700 http://kinetic.seattle.wa.us/blogs/blog70.html#krazy The mystery around the disappearance of Glenn Beck's sanity was solved yesterday, when his inner child was freed from the makeshift prison behind a house in Escher, Washington, where he had been held captive for the past 18 years. Authorities went to the ramshackle home early Friday, after receiving reports of shooting pains behind the eyes and incessant chattering of millions of tiny demons. There they discovered a secret compound within ERITAS News Service news parody satire glenn beck fox news mental health art rockefeller center mount vernon washington jaycee lee dugard Saturday, 05 Sep 2009 10:30:00 -0700 http://kinetic.seattle.wa.us/blogs/blog70.html#armed This time it is Republican members doing the canceling, citing concerns over attendance by potentially armed citizens. "Last weekend a number of my colleagues reported their meetings being disrupted by polite people armed with facts," said Rep. Heath Lackey, a ERITAS News Service news parody satire health insurance reform deathers tea baggers Tuesday, 01 Sep 2009 16:15:00 -0700 http://kinetic.seattle.wa.us/blogs/blog69.html#lobby ..."The memo lines on all the checks specified 'for the blue dogs,' so we decided to order three more seasons of Blues Clues," said Cindi Cation, Nickelodeon director of non-Sponge Bob programming. Wiseline Institute NW and Center for Secular Humorism news parody satire health insurance reform DINOs blue dog democrats lobbyists max baucus Friday, 28 Aug 2009 06:00:00 -0700 http://kinetic.seattle.wa.us/blogs/blog69.html#deathers2 The Food and Drug Administration has ordered a nationwide recall on the Republican Party after tests revealed the party to be contaminated by nuts. The agency took the unprecedented step after the GOP refused to issue a voluntary recall. Wiseline Institute NW and Center for Secular Humorism news parody satire health insurance reform republicans deathers brian baird Tuesday, 25 Aug 2009 06:00:00 -0700 http://kinetic.seattle.wa.us/blogs/blog69.html#gregnickels The enormous mutant reptile awakened by sustainable energy has unexpectedly left Seattle after an eight year rampage. Gregzilla was last seen disappearing below the surface of Puget Sound off Alki Beach. Gregzilla left after Tuesday's bloodbath involving a pitched battle with two newly arrived mutant monsters, bike-riding moth McGinnthra and Mallamar, the 500 foot tall T-Mobile executive. Wiseline Institute NW and Center for Secular Humorism news parody satire seattle politics election greg nickels mike mcginn joe mallahan Friday, 21 Aug 2009 10:15:00 -0700